Copyright: The Write Stuff, Whiting Robertsdale Chamber of Commerce. Reprinted with permission.
For those of use who live in Indiana, it’s a bone of contention: we get our news, especially television news, out of Illinois. In fact, Northwest Indiana residents were sold a “bill of goods” back in the 1980’s because we needed local television news coverage. The outrage that our children did not know the name of our own governor, often giving the Illinois governor’s name instead. Now, that may have been because of our news coming out of Illinois, or it may have been because we had do-nothing governors that no one wanted to know the name of- take your pick. But after a very emotional drive, we ended up with WYIN. Given the reason for its establishment, it’s a bit of a contradiction that WYIN does not provide local news; it just regurgitates programming from WTTW Chicago and other PBS stations. If you miss a show on Channel 11, it will show up 3 months from now on WYIN but you won’t get local news.
So, what does that have to do with Halloween? Well, the holiday is in part a celebration of pranks and jokes, and given the commercials on television, one would think that Illinois nominated a bunch of pranksters and jokers for political office.
For a guy that lives in Indiana, I can’t vote for Bruce Rauner or JB Pritzker, but their commercials are very entertaining. I love the ones where they have the Pritzker look-alike sitting on a toilet, smoking a cigar, or the ones showing Billionaire Governor Rauner trying to dress like the average guy. Although I’ve often remarked that politics has gotten far too mean, it’s certainly entertaining. Does anyone really believe that Pritzker’s mom had it rough raising him and his brother- she was one of the wealthiest women in the world! Why does Rauner’s wife show up in his ads- is she his mommy? Both candidates are multi billionaires, so you know that they understand the average person’s perspective.
And its not just the governor’s race, as the two running for attorney general: Kwami Raoul (the first time I hear the name I thought they said Commie Raoul- I was waiting for old Soviet military songs to play), and Erika Harold, seem to be pretty good at slinging mud at each other too. It’s a fight between a beauty queen (she is a former Miss America) and he is always just getting started according to his ads. I am not sure what that means; isn’t he a bit old to be getting started now. Then again, he is probably one of those typical politicians that goes around wishing folks to “have a good one” on the campaign trail. That always raises the question of what “one” refers to: a good bowel movement, perhaps? Harold says she is not attempting to exploit her looks, but her ads don’t leave you with much information other than the fact that she looks pretty good in that blue business suit and high heels, and that Kwami Raoul is friends with Mike Madigan who is the Devil’s brother-in-law.
Speaking of Madigan, its really nice to see that everyone, Republican and Democrat are on the same page- they seem to universally hate the guy, which raises the question as to how he gets reelected as Speaker of the House? Oops, remember who Madigan’s brother-in-law is? It seems to me if all the problems are caused by Mike Madigan, then just campaign on ridding Illinois of him and everything will be fine. Yes, problem solved as long as he doesn’t end up here; we would probably make him “King of Lake County, Indiana.”
Not as humorous as the other campaigns, there is Sean Casten and Peter Roskam. To be honest, their commercials are boring and not very entertaining, except that Casten claims to be a scientist- what does that really mean? I know he didn’t go to the moon; does he have the knowledge to turn Erika Harold into a barbie doll, or convert Communist Raoul into a capitalist? And his opponent Peter Roskam’s commercials are a great solution to insomnia; I get tired just thinking about his ads.
As we get ready to celebrate another Halloween, hopefully you will spend the time and money to give out candy to children, who really enjoy trick or treating. Of course, if you were in Illinois, JB Pritzker would tax the candy (although he looks like he might sit on one of his exploding toilets and eat some of it); Rauner would be too incompetent to give it out, Kwami Raul would give it all to Madigan who would otherwise steal it out of the hands of children, Erika Harold would throw it back because she might gain weight, Casten would convert the candy into something else that kids wouldn’t want, and Roskam would sleep through the holiday.